So, I have been neglecting you, poor Tumblr. Ok, I’ve actually been neglecting everything. In December I got a second job. I already worked full-time, but hey, I love not having a life and this other organization really wanted me for my skillz, so I decided to work on my weekends. I’ve been working seven days a week for the past 5 months. To make a long story short, my full-time job had me run the aquatics program while my boss was on maternity leave— I worked 10-14 hours daily, sometimes without a break, I was treated like shit, it wasn’t until I broke down and almost started crying that they decided to give me a bonus, and then I was told to thank my supervisor because they really didn’t need to give me a bonus and it was just out of the kindness of their hearts that they did so.
So…I resigned. I will go part time at my first ever “grown-up job.” I…am going to try and pursue my art career. I’ve been working full-time since I graduated college in 2009 and have done nothing with my art. Nothing. So, I’m quitting, going part time, and working part time at my other job closer to home. I just got an internship with a start-up group that wants to design I-phone apps and I’m just going to take a huge, dangerous leap and see where I land. My benefits drop in June and I’ll be paying for my own health insurance and there’s a strong chance my once-full-time job will be dropping my pay, too. Which is utterly ridiculous because a few months ago when my male co-worker went part time, he got a raise and is now paid $40 an hour. But, there you go.
Phew…I was truly depressed for a while there and still get these emotional blasts out of nowhere for no reason. Just thinking about work, I’ll start crying on the car ride home. While I was standing in for my boss for six weeks, I’d cry in the bathroom, resume my work, and then cry as soon as I got in the car. I’m feeling better now and am looking forward to not working such long hours (hopefully), but I still feel a bit down. I think things will be very different in June, though…possibly for the better.
So as of now I’ve had two people explain how sex-positivity isn’t ‘about me’ as an asexual. How asexuals don’t actually experience harmful messages about sex. How asking the sex-positive community to include us in their thinking is “selfish.”
So I’m going to go ahead and open up about something I’ve never been open about on here before. I kind of feel like I need to share this story in order for people to understand why I feel the need to post about my experience as an asexual.