“Hey Jesus, how much do you love me?”
“Aw, that’s nice!”
“Jesus are you okay?”
Usual Daily Routine:
Alarm goes off—devoured by despair over the idea of having to go work and having to continue working seven days a week non-stop.
Drive to work in awful Chicago rush-hour traffic.
Teach children how to swim with absolutely no inspiration or satisfaction in teaching anymore.
Run an entire failing swim program while only being paid my lowest hourly rate while the aquatic director is on maternity leave.
Stay late after work to do aquatic director work because I’m in the pool all day teaching. Only allowed to record two hours worth of “office work.” Exceed these hours. Do not record.
Forget to hang out with friends. Don’t eat dinner, don’t get margaritas.
Drive home crying.
It varies from day to day, though.
Amusing, but under cut because it might be dysphoric/triggering due to the language used by stranger?
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: howre you?
You: good, but sick
Stranger: im ok atm
Stranger: where you from?
You: what’s wrong?
You: USA, you?
Stranger: england, oh its a long story
Stranger: can i learn you age, i always feel uncomfortable thinking, i could be speaking to like a 13 year old
You: it’s 19 haha
Stranger: 20 here, guy too
You: What’s up?
Stranger: you a guy too?
Stranger: it’s a bit personal
Stranger: not sure how to go about talking about it
You: I’m genderqueer
Oh online chatting. You never cease to amuse me. I love how every conversation I read where a man starts getting too personal or pushy or out-of-line, he’s the one who ends up immediately saying “RELAX!! Oh my God! Don’t get so offended!!”
One of my friends contacted me earlier today and said she needed a documentary subject for this documentary project she’s working on. The guy she was supposed to interview bailed-out on her without any notice and her project is due in three days. So…she interviewed me! Asexuality and burlesque. Honestly, it was a lot of fun to do, and it just took about three hours, but now I’m getting nervous! What if her video wins or gets popular? What if it goes viral and I’m made into some kind of freak and then stalked and killed?
Well, it was fun. I had a good time actually being interviewed and talking about my own asexuality….but of course…here I am paranoid again. Oi! Good thing I have my bloody mary to help calm me down.
as long as i have a term that makes me comfortable with how i feel compared to the people around me (especially since most people do NOT feel how i feel), then why is it an issue?
i don’t identify this way because i’m a special snowflake (even though we all know i AM a special snowflake) but because it helps me explain to everyone, including myself, who i am.
my identity is for me. not for you.