So, a lot of people, when they come out as asexual, are made to believe that something in their childhood made them that way. My point is not about whether or not that is true, but that even if someone’s asexuality is ‘caused’, it is no less valid. Personally, I wouldn’t be surprised if my…
I think I just developed as an asexual person. I had no traumatic experiences, I really had no negative views on sexuality, and was raised in an extremely open family. I think….I just turned out asexual, but wasn’t born this way. Just am.
Part of me thinks it’s too soon to be writing about this because I don’t think I’ve completely processed how I feel, but I also think maybe this has happened to other women and I should talk about it in…
Been there, too. After the situation, you just think, “What else could I have done?” “Should I have gotten violent? Should I have said this or done that instead? What if, what if?” It all comes down to your safety. I’ve felt that shame and anger, too, but you can never predict how a situation could turn out and it’s always best to just play it safe.
I was supposed to do an interview today with a reporter from the Red Eye Newspaper. I chickened out. I feel kind of crappy about it. I was actually all gung-ho about it…but then my co-workers jumped on me about it. I was told that it wasn’t smart to do any public articles about my sexuality and…
The reporter wouldn’t have let you use an alias, or just first name only? People who are interviewed for stuff like this will do that sort of thing all the time.
I asked her and the Red Eye Newspaper is really strict about aliases or being anonymous. I was told I HAD to use my first and last name.
I was supposed to do an interview today with a reporter from the Red Eye Newspaper. I chickened out. I feel kind of crappy about it. I was actually all gung-ho about it…but then my co-workers jumped on me about it. I was told that it wasn’t smart to do any public articles about my sexuality and then I became really, really paranoid when they started telling me how my full name would be published and would be online and in the Red Eye documents forever…and aaahhh…my paranoia just hit me hard and I said no to the reporter. I felt really scummy because I canceled two hours before the interview :(
And I’m worried people will think I decided not to do it because I’m “ashamed” or “embarrassed” by my asexuality. And it’s not that. I mean, look at the great BBC report on asexuality…and then the awfulresponses people are hurling at the two completely innocent people being interviewed. People lose their goddamn minds over asexuality and asexuals. Well, people lose their damn minds over anything that’s not your basic heterosexuality. After being harassed and bullied briefly over just a few Hot Pieces of Ace videos, I got even more nervous and paranoid about being interviewed publicly in the most popular newspaper in Chicago with my full name and (probably) picture posted. And my paranoia is not just, “Oh, I’m worried.” It goes into obsessive thoughts and almost believable delusions. I just….really didn’t want to add more stress to my life.
Also, one of my co-workers pointed out that if I’m trying to find a new job, an employer could very well type my name in Google and easily read the random article about my being an asexual. And that post could be up forever, easily found. And while I’m all gung-ho about my asexuality right now, what if, in a few years, I’m not as into my own visibility and activism. What if I move onto something else I’m passionate about? I’ll still be an asexual, but what if I just don’t want to discuss it or feel it’s a necessary characteristic for others to know? Again, shame and embarrassment aren’t preventing me from the interview. It’s fully for privacy and work reasons. I would have loved to do it, but I just don’t feel safe after all these asexual people (especially women) get rape and death threats simply for discussing their asexuality.
And I really hope the reporter got my email before she left to meet at our meeting-spot :/ I’ll feel like a major douche-bag if she sat there waiting for me.
Ordered about $50 worth of Animorph books a few weeks ago. Have been waiting in excitement the past two weeks. Just found out they were delivered to my old address…but are not there anymore. ….Never should have gotten hopeful.
Improv at Holiday Club tonight was super hilarious tonight! There were 3 improv groups and 2 stand-ups. Meredith Stepien was one of the stand-ups and I thought she did really good. SUPER funny. The improv gropus and the other stand-up guy…also HILARIOUS. Cried laughing a few times. I hope they do this more often because I love Hliday Club, I live down the block, and I want a new “thing” to do. Goooood times
My friend and I went to the Holiday club tonight to see Meredith Stepien do her standup. Honestly, I was expecting only maybe two or three of the Starkid performers to show up…but there were a lot of people there! In fact, my friend and I felt weird because we were about the only two people at the Holiday club who didn’t know any of the Starkid people personally. They all came in and hugged people who were at other tables and had conversations. Everyone was there except for the Joes, Dylan, and a couple others. We thought maybe we should leave since we didn’t know anyone personally, haha. It was weird, but extremely awesome. I don’t know. Just being a Chicagoan and hanging at the Chicago bar I vixen at for burlesque on Wednesdays during the Spring and Summer, but suddenly being there in the Winter while STARKID is there is just…AHHH! Crazy, crazy. The show was great and we loved most of the performers. Meredith was hilarious and it was really, really…strange being at the bar with all the Starkid people—haha.
At the end of the night, my friend left. I scooted past Brian and Jaime and I caught a taxi and went home. A very strange night…kinda surreal. We didn’t talk to anyone. It was just a comedy gig and didn’t want to ruin anyone’s night by being stupid, dorky fans. So…watched the show…and went home. Now I gotta get my make-up off! Haven’t been this tipsy on a weeknight since I was 24! :D
I’m sick and tired of people acting like it’s no big deal that Chris Brown will be performing at the Grammys.
I’m frustrated that the mainstream media is covering this story like it’s any comeback story, like an exiled prince’s return to a former glory, like this is another political timeline — as though some rich and powerful old white men in the music business have not just issued an enormous ‘f**k you’ to every woman who has been, is or will be on the receiving end of domestic violence.
DALLAS (CBSDFW.COM) - Women passengers complain that TSA agents are targeting them for extra screening.
The Transportation Security Administration has a policy to randomly select people for extra screening, but some female passengers are complaining. They believe there is nothing “random” about the way they were picked.
A Dallas woman says TSA agents repeatedly asked her to step back into a body scanning machine at DFW International Airport. “I feel like I was totally exposed,” said Ellen Terrell, who is a wife and mother. “They wanted a nice good look.”
When Ellen Terrell and her husband, Charlie, flew out of DFW Airport several months ago, Terrell says she was surprised by a question a female TSA agent asked her. “She says to me, ‘Do you play tennis?’ And I said, ‘Why?’ She said, ‘You just have such a cute figure.’”
Terrell says she walked into the body scanner which creates an image that a TSA agent in another room reviews. Terrell says she tried to leave, but the female agent stopped her. “She says, ‘Wait, we didn’t get it,’” recalls Terrell, who claims the TSA agent sent her back a second time and even a third. But that wasn’t good enough.
After the third time, Terrell says even the agent seemed frustrated with her co-workers in the other room. “She’s talking into her microphone and she says, ‘Guys, it is not blurry, I’m letting her go. Come on out.’”
When TSA agents do a pat down on a traveler, only female agents are allowed to touch female passengers. But the TSA allows male agents to view the images of female passengers.
Ellen and Charlie Terrell are convinced that the extra screenings were unnecessary, possibly even voyeuristic. “I think it’s sexual harassment if you’re run through there a third or fourth time,“ responded Texas State Representative Lon Burnam of Fort Worth. “And this is not the first time I have heard about it,” said Burnam, who adds that a number of his constituents have voiced concerns about privacy.
CBS 11 News dug through more than 500 records of TSA complaints and found a pattern of women who believe that there was nothing random about the way they were selected for extra screening. TSA redacted the names of the passengers who complained, but here are quotations from several complaints.
“I feel I was targeted by the TSA employee to go through the see-you-naked machine because I am a semi-attractive female.”
“The screener appeared to enjoy the process of picking someone rather than doing true random screening. I felt this was inappropriate. A woman behind me was also “randomly selected.”
“TSA staff ‘trolling’ the lines looking for people to pull out was unprofessional.”
“After that, I saw him going to the private room where x-rays are, to speak to the guy on that room.”
“I know he went to that room to see my naked body through the machine with the other guy.”
“When I looked around, I saw that there were only women that were “told” to go through this machine. There were no men.”
“Maklng American citizens unwilling victims of a peep show by TSA employees using full body imaging devices is an over-the-top invasion of privacy to which I strenuously object.”
“Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F. as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. Robyn F. picked up Brown’s cellular phone and observed a three-page text message from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.
“One popular classroom exercise, for example, employs Scotch Tape to demonstrate how premarital sex can make girls dirty. A teacher holds up a clear strip of tape, meant to represent a girl, in front of the class. The teacher then puts the strip of tape, adhesive side down, on the arm of a boy in the class, to symbolize his sexual relationship with the girl. The teacher rips off the tape (signifying the breakup, apparently) and holds it up again for the class to look at. Students are meant to see that the strip of tape—the girl—has picked up all kinds of dirt and hair from the boy’s arm and is no longer clean. Then, when the teacher tries to stick the same strip to another boy’s arm, he or she notes that it doesn’t stick—they can’t bond! To end things with a bang, the abstinence educator makes a remark about the girl’s being “used” and therefore unable to have strong future relationships.”—
I’ve had the box exercise done in Catholic school. Basically there would be three boxes in front of us: one very nicely wrapped, another one half open, and another one completely destroyed. Apparently the one completely destroyed are the girls that have had sex, because now a vagina is a gift to a spouse. Ughh I hate sex ed.
Uhhh that is NOT sex ed. There is nothing educational about that sexist noise.
This reminds me of ‘sex-ed’ in 6th grade. My public school would absolutely insist on bringing in youth ministers to talk to us about sex and relationships. He brought a girl and a boy in front of the class and did a role-playing exercise where he said they were dating and “oops, Cody got Emily pregnant!” We then had to come up with different solutions on what they would do. All my classmates threw out adoption or have the girl raise it or have the family raise it. Then the girl in front of our sixth-grade class in the exercise said she’d likely get an abortion if she ever did somehow get pregnant. In front of the ENTIRE 6th-grade class, the youth minister coldly said, “That’s absolutely the worst solution ever. You need to sit down.” The girl was then made fun of and glared at by her classmates for the remainder of the day. (via Anxious Writer)
I…just discovered this show. I mean, I’ve heard all about it and have seen the numerous GIFs on Tumblr, but I just don’t really get into too many sitcoms. I’m more of a movie or cartoon girl :D Anyway, my Mom watches a lot of TV shows and whenever I come home she always introduces me to all the new shows she loves like Suburgatory or Community or 30 Rock or How I Met Your Mother. On my last visit home she insisted that I watch Big Bang Theory.
She knows that I’m asexual and said that it’d probably interest me since two of the characters come off as asexual. I really didn’t want to watch it then, because I didn’t want to see a show just because of an asexual character. But…I watched it anyway. It was ok. Then it was on when I came back to Chicago. Watched it again.
And I can’t stop!! Every time it’s on four different channels for three hours, I must watch!! And I really love all the characters, I could never choose a favorite. The writing-hilarious. I love it! Shall keep watching…and shall start looking for BBT Gifs on Tumblr :D
Temmie Breslauer says she was arrested on January 12 in a subway station for illegally using her dad’s discount fare card (only seniors and people with disabilities can get these). She says the arresting officers — the suit names one, Officer Shah — laughed at her. When they took her to the station, a desk sergeant asked her “whether she had a penis or a vagina.” Breslauer explained that she was in transition. Then, instead of putting her with female inmates or in her own room, the department allegedly chose this course of action:
[S]he was fingerprinted, seated on a bench, then painfully chained to a fence wherein, for no apparent reason, her arm was lifted over her head and attached to the fence to make it appear that she was raising her hand in the classroom. She sat there in that position for 28 hours.
She also says officers not only refused to call her “she,” they instead referred to her as “He-She”, “Faggot,” and “Lady GaGa,” and asked her “So you like to suck dick? Or what?” Meanwhile, people arrested for the same minor crime (misdemeanor “theft of services”) she was were calmly processed and allowed to leave. Finally, she was able to go before a judge, who gave her two days of community service. She says the whole ordeal aggravated her existing PTSD and left her sleepless and suicidal.
“If a fertilized egg has constitutional rights, women* cannot have equal rights with men*. This, however, is exactly what no one wants to talk about, because it’s complicated, and it’s proved surprisingly easy to use the issue to political advantage.”—The New Yorker (Read more)
How can you be kinky and asexual at the same time *is confused D8*
Asexuality basically means not feeling sexual attraction. The ‘problem’ with this description is “what exactly is sexual attraction?” Many people view sexual attraction as being sexually attracted to another person and finding a preference in certain genders. The confusion usually starts with the idea of arousal vs. attraction. Often, kinky asexuals do not find anyone attractive and do not even like having sex. However, there may be a specific fetish or situation or very specific thing that can cause interest or even sexual arousal. Asexuals can be turned-on and have very strong libidos, but they sometimes don’t have any interest in sexual intercourse or being with a partner. For example, I knew an asexual who had a fetish for sticking needles or pins in her skin. She never found anyone sexually attractive, but found some kind of interest in this. I also know an asexual who gets extremely turned-on by anything that has to do with bondage or restraint. No sex is involved, but the feeling of having her hands bound together and mouth taped shut does the trick for her.
I’m afraid that my profile is a bit outdated unfortunately, as I’ve had absolutely no interest in anything sexual nor have I had much of a libido :/ I used to get very turned-on by very specific things (not even sexual themes), but would never feel the urge or desire to seek out a partner or even see anyone as sexually attractive.
With offensiveness and harrassment of this level, I strongly advise against trying to engage them directly - people who behave like this are unlikely to be persuaded by any kind of logic or reason, and engaging them will most likely only open you to harassment, stress, and general bad feelings. Instead, take a step back, remember that people are idiots, and think about cake and kittens instead.
I and some others have already reported the blog to wordpress for containing personal attacks and rape threats, though I’m not sure how likely they are to respond. If anyone else does choose to respond, place your emphasis on the rape threats and personal attacks - while the anti-ace sentiments, sexism, and bigotry are pretty terrible, offensiveness alone will not cause them to remove it - but personal threats will. However, I would advise holding off on swarming them until we’ve given them a chance to respond to the first few complaints.
In the meantime, take care of yourselves and realize that these idiots are not worth your time - don’t let their bullshit get you down.
lol, y’all, don’t even bother. This is just one of those sad swine who call themselves Pick-Up Artists; you can tell because he uses the ridiculous term “beta male.” Obviously he’s never going to believe that there could be a woman who’s immune to his PuA bullshit, whether due to good sense or sexual orientation, nor that there are men who know better than to use it. He’s just some stinky troglodyte who’s bitter because he can’t figure out how to form genuine connections with other people, and his cheap tricks and creeptastic dating style are only losing him friends and creeping women out. Leave the troll under his bridge; he’s not worth it, and nobody worth our time is going to listen to him.