An OKCupid convo that started off pretty good!! But gradually got crappy. So…do most men just naturally think women are stupid? I have to wonder about this. I really do. I’ve had at least 5 conversations with guys on OKCupid who start with “Explain asexuality to me. Intriguing! Amazing! I’ve never heard of this! In fact, I think…wait…I know…just now….YES! I’M ASEXUAL, TOO!! Isn’t that amazing?! Let’s meet up and have asexual sex now!!” It’s really….really quite bothersome. Please enjoy this conversation full of wanting more details about my personal sex-life and turning the tables on me as I’m called a tease for explaining asexuality, but not describing my masturbation habits to a complete stranger!!
GUY: how do people send angry message about ur sexual availability?
ME: Oh, calling me a ball-buster, or explaining to me how they would make me “not asexual” or yelling at me for putting ‘bisexual’ in my orientation choice
GUY: makes no sense?
ME: Not really. Well, I think they see it as an offense to them that I wouldn’t be sexually interested in them. A bruised-ego type of thing
GUY: well my egos no bruised and right now i honestly have nothing to lose, what do u mean by asexual?
ME: I don’t feel sexually attracted to anyone. I don’t ever want to have sex with men or women or really anyone.
GUY: just alone? or nothing?
ME: You mean right now? Am I in a relationship?
GUY: no i mean, ur not attracted to me or women, again please dont take this the wrong way… r u just into self pleasing or something like that?
ME: Right. I am not into men or women. I’m equally uninterested in both. And I am an Auto-Sexual asexual, though many asexuals don’t feel any libido at all.
GUY: what do u mean autosexual?
ME: Self-sexual. I am turned-on by certain things :D
GUY: n u just handle ur business yourself then
GUY: interesting. sorry if im asking 23402934 questions. im intrigued
ME: No that’s fine.
GUY: i wonder if im a bit asexual
ME: Well, I think everyone is a little bit everything at times :D Well, do you still find women sexually attractive, though?
GUY: yes a lil bit. so in that case i guess im not
ME: Well…people can still enjoy self-pleasure over actual sex with another person, but still be sexually attracted to someone.
GUY: what kind of things turn u on then?
ME: Haha, just specific thoughts and ideas. Themes, I guess would be the best way to put it
GUY: right, but thoughts about the other sex or thoughts about other things?
ME: Not the other sex. Not anyone in particular. Just…touch and sensation. My own touch
GUY: maybe i am then. lol im a confused 25 year old
ME: Well, there are always websites and Asexual communities that can help you out. You can always take my Asexual quiz here on OkCupid! :D
(Watch as he completely ignores any information that may actually help him figure out what his “real” orientation is. He just jumps right into “hey, let’s have asexual sex!!)
GUY: now can 2 asexual people get off together or is that wrong?
ME: It depends on if both asexuals are ok with that :D
(Perhaps my smiley was really telling him I was interested??)
GUY: kk :) lol. so can we be asexual together?
ME: Well, I’m aromantic ya see. So…I really don’t do any kind of dating
GUY: we dont hve to be romantic to be asexual?
ME: Are you sure you’re asexual? :p
GUY: im notto be honest. sure. but i think its intriging(bad spell) to self please around eachtother. u mentioned themes before. that theme is kinda turning me on right now
ME: Ah…yes. Not my cup of tea, though
GUY: what is ur kindof theme?
ME: I’d rather not disclose :)
GUY: id call u a tease but then id be like everyone else :)
ME: Well….I’m an asexual who doesn’t want to be sexually involved with anyone in any kind of way. I’m fine with giving info on the actual subject of asexuality, but not with every detail of myself, personally.
GUY: Naw that’s cool. u definately opened my eyes into something i should look into more