“Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apologize for being correct, or for being years ahead of your time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth.”—Mohandas Ghandi (via ladyatheist)
I've been following Hot Pieces of Ace on yoube for a long time now, and I just wanted to say that you are awesome. I can't tell you how cool it was seeing you become a contributer. I think it's really unique having an autosexual, asexual fetishist making videos because it shows just how varied the ace spectrum really is!
Aw, thank you so much! At times I feel like I have no idea what I’m trying to say, so reading this makes my day. Thanks for followin! ^_^
What exactly is that supposed to mean? I read it all over the place. Is it some way of making fun of people’s…butt play or something?? Or spanking? What if people enjoy spanking? The more buttmad they are, the happier they are?
I think the influx in accusations and personally attacking other tumblrs is because most people are on edge because of all the fighting. More than ever before in the ace community/posts regarding asexuality there are people attacking others. It looks something like this:
Person A and Person B…
And it’s really sad that aces who are just posting regular, everyday things are being attacked. I’ve managed to avoid all the drama so far and may just occasionally post some asexual-related thing and I’ve been called dumb and told I have no friends :/ Not the worst, but I’m pretty neutral in all this drama and apparently it doesn’t even matter because of who and what I am.
Hi. I’d like to introduce myself to you all, at least the people I know will see this and then react. My name is Imithly, and I am a lesbian. Oh shit, that’s right I am GAY. But that’s not the amazing part, no, the amazing part is what I’m going to say in the next.
If you aren’t in college but want to go at some point, what do you want to major in? I get many questions about women’s studies, but I want to know what other fields my followers are interested in. Not that women’s studies isn’t an awesome field, I love it!
I graduated a couple of years ago, but I have a Bachelor of Fine Art in Illustration.
I think that’s what we need to respond with now. All of us. Always. I know it’s difficult. I know people MUST argue….but no one is listening!
One of the things I always liked about the Ace community was our ability to laugh at everything and take nothing seriously. Let’s go back to that. Someone sends you a negative comment or tries to fight with you, respond with “I love you!” “You complete me!” “You’re hot.” “I wanna have your baby.” Something ridiculous or absurd that shows you truly do not care what this person is saying to you. And just repeat it. People keep trying, you keep telling them how much you really, really love them. Truly, madly, deeply. Anyone else in? :D
So, I only joined Tumblr a while ago. I’m still relatively new. I love drama. But jeez, this site is drama-filled! I find arguments that lead to arguments on Livejournal and arguments that lead to AVEN and arguments that lead to other Tumblrs!
I’m not one to join in the drama. Just observe. I’m on Hot Pieces of Ace and I try to speak fairly on most topics. I’ve learned that no matter what you say, people will try their best to misconstrue absolutely everything you say to make you look like the bad guy. I’ve just discovered people ripping on my newest HPoA video, only focusing on my saying something like, “I chose bisexual in the orientation choice on OkCupid because there is no asexual choice. Since I’m equally uninterested in men and women, I figured this would be the best option.” Or something like that. Instead of focusing on anything else I said (or any other extremely sex-positive videos), this phrase was picked to cause an explosion of Ace-Hate…that is just mind-boggling. I was insulted, laughed at, and basically called an idiot. I’m sure these trolls hiding behind their computer screens would never act in such a way to my face.
And it has truly sunk in…people don’t know when they hate. They don’t realize what hatred feels like and how it festers inside of them. People who are trying to take away words that asexuals use, and police every little thing an asexual says or start entire memes to create blinding hatred….HATE US. They’ll deny it. They will turn it around and say every single asexual is a homophobic, slut-shaming monster and will only ever focus on the negative posts on asexuals to strengthen the hideous image of us. We will never be good or open-minded or accepted because haters will never let us. No matter what an asexual does. Even if you fall to your knees and beg for “forgiveness” and say that you’re a horrible, identity-stealing monster who will never speak again (basically admit to everything haters want to hear), the people who hate you will never let you rest. They CANNOT see the positive comments made by asexuals. They CANNOT even try to search for videos or blogs or media that show the fantastic and accepting side of asexuality. They will only search vehemently for the negatives so they don’t have to feel guilty about hating an entire community. Hating. Yes…it’s hate.
So…I’m not going to let it bother me then. I was upset when I found the page dedicated to hating me for making a freaking video. But it really cleared everything up. People will automatically hate me, and every other asexual, for being exactly that…asexual. There’s no winning with them. So focus on those who WANT to listen and want to learn more about us. Ok, that’s all.
I read Erika Moen’s story about the man who grabbed her thigh while waiting for a train. It reminded me of this story that happened to me about year ago, too! Thought I’d share to show that society really needs to fix itself up and finally agree that we do, indeed, live in a rape culture. The sad thing is when I posted this on a forum when it happened, everyone chastised me for responding to the bastards. Sorry, I’m going to let douche-bags know they’re douche-bags. Anyway, I wrote this story back around December last year and was pretty pissed. So…Language….
I was on the El (Chicago train) downtown, on my way to visit my brother and his friends at this one restaurant. As I got closer to my stop, these two douche-bag, shady mother fuckers jumped on the train and sat down right next to the doors where I stood. As the train began to stop, one of the assholes gazed at me and asked me for my number. I responded in my usual way and turned my back to him like he was absolutely nothing. His friend then chimed in and loudly began to talk about how uptight I was and how I deserved it up the ass. Both of the dumbass boys began to degrade me and name-call as I continued to ignore them. I decided not to move from my spot or look at them, just simply ignored them. “Nice coat. Trying to look like Santa Claus, bitch?”
My winter coat happens to be red. Therefore I look like Santa Claus? Clever. As soon as I got off the train, I waited and pretended to look at my phone. As a woman, I’m sadly not allowed to confront these children face to face for fear of being raped or beaten while people would just watch, so I did my passive-aggressive thing and waited for the doors to close. As the train began to move away, I looked at the two boys and they had the nerve to wave happily at me after just having accosted me and threatened me like cowards. I held up my pinky finger and yelled, “Small penises! You have incredibly small penises!” I held up my thumb and index fingers to indicate how tiny their penises actually were since they were behaving in such a horrible way. It’s funny how incredibly enraged they became. One boy stood and angrily gave me the finger, as if he could jump off the train and attack me as it sped away. What were you thinking, you immature piece of shit? You insult me, name-call, and loudly exclaim about how I “want it up the ass.” Thought I would stand there and enjoy it? Thought I would appreciate the male attention? Who has the audacity to do this? Why do these children think that it’s ok to speak to women like this? I was shaking as I walked away. If I had mace or a knife, I’d probably be in jail at this moment for attacking them. I wonder what would have happened if I had spoken to them. But no, it’s a man’s world out there. As a female I should take their abuse and name-calling because I would get hurt or killed if I dared stood up for myself. I’ve decided to start carrying my Exacto knife with me from now on.
I’m writing this on the R train as it rattles slowly along toward Brooklyn. I’m headed to pick up my 6-month-old daughter. I’m writing because I’m still reeling from what occurred on the Times Square subway platform a few moments ago. I was walking to the end of the station as I…
I’m SO HOMOPHOBIC that I volunteered 8-10 hours a week for over 3 months of my life fighting to make it illegal for someone to be fired from their job or evicted from their houses for their sexual orientation or gender identity.
OkCupid: We are exactly the same! Gosh...meeting you has made me realize I'm asexual. So let's have sex!
I just found this jewel! I forgot I had it saved on my computer! Haha, after posting my last OKCupid conversation, I was so happy and amused to find this one! I really need to thank Swankivy for her awesome “Asshole of the Day” blogs. They have inspired me to post the absurdity that many asexuals and women face a lot in the world of sex and online chat and social networking sites. Once again, I am thought to be stupid, easily tricked, and am expected to swoon at the idea of ‘meeting’ a person who has the exact same “personality” as me! Also, note the blatant personal questions and expectations of what I should do. Also, apparently, as a guy, all men need sex because of their hormones? And guess what…in the one minute of talking to me online, he’s suddenly an asexual, too! He hates fat lesbians and every girl in his town is ugly! Guess that’s why…he’s…suddenly asexual??
Names have been changed.
I’mSuddenlyAce: have you always been asexual?
ME: yep. Just never knew it until last year
I’mSuddenlyAce: oh. have you ever been with some one?
I’mSuddenlyAce: just dint like it?
ME: yeah, it sucked. Plus I wasn’t ever attracted to anyone
I’mSuddenlyAce: i know the feeling. i would say im an asexual as well but as a guy hormone wise it is hard to ignore sex
ME: Yeah. But basically an asexual person just doesn’t find anyone attractive. An asexual person can still find sex fun, though
I’mSuddenlyAce: then im asexual
ME: don’t find anyone attractive?
I’mSuddenlyAce: i would say i find people less ugly
ME: I see. Ever been here? http://www.asexuality.org/home/ This is AVEN. The site for asexual, demisexual, and gray-a. All forms of asexuality. I love the browsing the forums
(Just like the last one! Completely ignores info that could actually help him discover his “true orientation” and jumps right into how much he wants to find the ‘right’ girl to fuck.)
I’mSuddenlyAce: i just which i could find someone nice enough to play around with bc not having sex just makes me willing to be around those bitchy girls so i can have sex
(…oh my god…)
I’mSuddenlyAce: women love me in bed but after ward i always think about how im not really attracted to them and that they arent fun or interesting enough to deal with to make it worth having sex
(That’s not asexuality, hon.)
ME: perhaps it’s just the wrong type of woman you’re sleeping with.
I’mSuddenlyAce: i agree. im just not sexually attracted by sight. but i do get repulsed easily. if i lived in a different area i think i would find a suitible woman. i deffinatly think you would be nice
(Whooo! I’m the chosen one!)
I’mSuddenlyAce: there is just mostly fat women and married women and lesbian. can i ask a personal question?
I’mSuddenlyAce: have you ever had an orgasm with someone?
I’mSuddenlyAce: have you ever by yourself?
I’mSuddenlyAce: ok. do you enjoy it? do you feel the need to do it often
ME: I have always enjoyed it. And I do whenever it strikes
I’mSuddenlyAce: im glad to here that. do you think you would like being with some one if you had an orgasm bc of them?
(Coz here I am, Baby!!)
ME: probably not. I’m uncomfortable around anyone sexually. Even if my body responded, I would still not be attracted to that person.
I’mSuddenlyAce: so do you still have sex?
I’mSuddenlyAce: do you feel bad when you have sex with someone your not attracted to? bc normally i do
ME: I don’t feel bad…because it has rarely happened. I feel regret because it sucked and there was no respect from my partner.
I’mSuddenlyAce: yeah i know that feeling. think you and me are they same. however i want to have sex but i dont enjoy it. and there is never any respect or thanks. i think women are easier at being celibate than men.
(Women should thank me! THANK ME!! Disrespectful bitches!)
ME: Well, I have to get up early for work. it was nice talking to you.
I’mSuddenlyAce: could we talk more or txt?
ME: I hope I answered your questions thoroughly enough
I’mSuddenlyAce: that is not an answer
ME: Whenever I’m on again, go ahead and say hi
I’mSuddenlyAce: hmm. i wouldnt mind getting to knwo you better
As a bisexual (pansexual to be specific but we will fight one battle at a time) I’ve long been discounted and asked out of your community, which frankly sucked when I was in college and needed the support. I made it through, but now some of you have turned on the Asexuals and…
If you're not interested in sex or dating, what is the point of having an OkCupid profile?
The quizzes. Yeah…that’s my number one reason. I’ve also met and spoken with a lot of cool people. You can also pick the reasons for why you’re on the site and my reasons are: New Friends and Activity Partners.